This is possibly the hardest blog post I've ever had to write. But I'll pull myself together and try to get through it. Okay here goes. Guys, it hurts me to the bottom of my soul to say this, but Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna have broken up as BFFs.
NOOOOOO.
Yes. The BFF love of the ages has run its course. Madonna and Gwynnie. We thought they would be Best Friends Forever forever but forever was too long. The end of forever came faster than we ever could've foreseen. Oh yeah. LET'S SEE TAYLOR SWIFT WRITE SOME POIGNANT SHIT LIKE THAT. FUCK YOU WITH A CATTLE PROD TAYLOR YOU HACK. LEAVE THAT KENNEDY KID ALONE HE'S SUFFERED ENOUGH.
How could Gwynnie and Madonna break it off? What could've come between them? I thought they had so much in common. THEY BOTH THINK THEY'RE BRITISH. AND THEY BOTH DO MUSIC EVEN THOUGH THEY SUCK AT IT. AND ONE OF THEM IS SECRETLY TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE ENTIRE NATION OF MALAWI USING THE FAKE RELIGION THEY OWN TO UNDERMINE THE LOCAL CHRISTIAN ESTABLISHMENT. AND IT'S NOT GWYNETH CAUSE SHE'S NOT THAT FUCKING CRAZY.
Maybe that's it. Maybe Madonna just got too crazy for her. I don't know. But it's over. Gwynnie is now BFFs with that rat-faced bitch Cameron Diaz and Madonna is back to being BFFs with her own hooha. There's a very good chance I'll never get over this. I may kill myself with poison this very instant. I just don't want to live in a world where...hey an old stale cookie I forgot I left on that shelf. BONUS FOOD.
Source:
http://www.thedailycrabbie.com/2012/09/gwyneth-paltrow-is-no-longer-bffs-with.html