I think it's fair to say that I am not a huge fan of Madonna. I loved her 80s stuff and even a lot of her 90s music. But I've never been all that fussed with her as a person. It hasn't anything to do with her scandals, I actually think her Erotica phase was sexy as hell (if you're going to be a slutty pop star, do it properly like she did, or put some damn clothes on already). I just don't like… her. I'm not going to dissect why I dislike the woman, because that could take ages. Instead I would like to discuss today's Madonna. First of all, you should probably watch her new music video:
OK so it's nothing new. I mean didn't Lady Gaga do pretty much the same thing in Alejandro? Oh but wait, didn't everyone accuse Gaga of copying Madonna with that music video? So basically what we have here is Madonna copying Lady Gaga copy Madonna. Confused? I know I am. Look, I love Gaga but I will admit she has clearly copied a lot of what Madonna already did. It's no biggie, because that's how pop music tends to work. But to have the "original" artist copy the imitator? Damn, that shit's wack!
Then there was the "feud" between her and Deadmau5 this week. Deadmau5 got angry at her for making ecstasy references at a festival which she later claimed was a reference to a song that didn't make it on her record. Oh-kay. As much as I think Deadmau5 is a wanker, I am pretty darn sure she was making a drug reference and I find that pretty tacky, let alone the fact it really is very detrimental to dance music whose image has finally gotten away from the pill-popping culture that dogged it for so long. So she comes up with some bullshit excuse for referencing ecstacy ("No no, I meant the name Molly, not the street slang for the drug which I also reference in the NAME OF MY ALBUM!"). Ya know, Madge, we ain't all dumb and we don't appreciate being treated as such. Just FYI.
Look, Madonna was an amazing pop star back in the day. She shaped pop music in new ways and was miles ahead of everyone else in the 80s and even in the 90s. But she's 53 years old now, with two children (can you believe Lourdes is like, 16 now? Wow, I feel so old). I appreciate the fact she's kept in superb shape, but the pantless thing is getting beyond a joke. She needs to understand the fact that she can't keep acting like she's the same carefree lass like in the early 90s when she released Sex (which I've seen and think is actually a very fascinating book, and can be seen here in full if you're so inclined). It's not edgy any more, because everyone has copied her and it's become boring, and seeing her try to recreate it like she's got something to prove is really kind of sad.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say this: Madonna is no longer relevant. There's nothing she can do any more that will shock us without, I dunno, actually murdering someone live on stage. She's done it all, and younger, fresher faces are now doing it better. She used to be a chameleon, changing her entire image every couple of years and wowing us all. Now she's just rehashing her old looks and bringing in other younger artists to try and remind us that is IS relevant and that we should keep listening to her (I mean, Give It To Me with Pharrell has to be one of the most fucking awful pop songs of the last 10 years). It's getting old and tired and sad.
Sorry Mads, time to retire the body suits, pull on a pair of trousers and age gracefully.
