These days, on the other hand, celebrity catfights don’t last much longer than middle school relationships. Take Nicki Minaj vs. Mariah Carey, for example. The divas began dueling a few weeks back when the publicity geniuses at American Idol decided to put them both behind the judges’ table for the show’s upcoming season. After rumors of bickering, some passive aggressive tweets and a “sneakily filmed” video of the two screaming at each other on set were released to the public, we were super excited! Could these two become the next Paris and Nicole, hating each other’s guts, yet bound by contract to appear on TV together week after week? Nope. It’s now only a few weeks later, and everyone’s over it.
So, instead of dwelling on the dull celebrity tiffs of the 2010s, let’s reevaluate our favorite celebrity feuds from the early 2000s and find out who ended up on top a decade later.
Britney Spears vs. Christina Aguilera
Does anyone remember why these two divas were feuding in the early 2000s? That’s actually a trick question. No one knows, because their catfight was completely media-manufactured. But can you really blame the media this time? It was almost too easy to pit Britney and Christina against each other. They both started out in the legendary Mickey Mouse Club (at the same time), they’re both blonde, they were both a bit rebellious in their teens, and they both make (or are the face of) bubble-gum pop music. Flash forward a decade, and Britney and Christina are still on similar paths, with Christina being a judge on The Voice and Britney on X Factor.
So who ended up on top? Well, from the beginning, Christina always had the better voice, and she still does. Girlfriend can belt out some runs that rival those of the best pop divas. Still, however, it’s Britney who’s the ultimate winner of this duel. Britney might not have the best voice — hell, she might not even be able to sing at all. But her celebrity is unparalleled. I know very few of my contemporaries who can’t chronicle the rise, fall and comeback of Britney — the Madonna makeout at the VMAs, the head-shave, the K. Fed years, etc. For some reason, at her highs, lows and everywhere in between, we’ve always loved Britney. And the same can’t be said for Miss Christina.
Paris Hilton vs. Nicole Richie
As previously hinted at, the catfight between Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie was a bit of marketing genius. Seriously, whoever concocted this celebrity duel, hats off to you.
It all went down like this: After filming a few seasons of the ridiculously hilarious Simple Life together, the two best friends — both famous for doing absolutely nothing — got into a mysterious dispute. When Paris admitted the bff-breakup to the press, she was cryptic: “Nicole knows what she did, and that’s all I’m ever going to say about it.” Though there were rumors of jealousy — Paris had just landed her House of Wax gig — we never really found out what the two were fighting about. Still, bound by contract, they went on to film seasons of the Simple Life, first being filmed separately, and then eventually together after the pair reconciled. Their friendship never fully recovered, though, and now it appears as if the two have no lasting connection with each other.
So who ended up on top? It has to be Nicole. While Paris is still stuck in the trashy rut she was in decades ago, Nicole has managed to blossom into a mature, successful celeb. She’s happily married to and has two kids with Good Charlotte’s Joel Madden, she’s recognized by the press as somewhat of a fashion icon, and she even has a gig as one of three mentors on NBC’s Fashion Star. On top of all that, her Twitter account is snarky and hilarious. What has Paris been up to? Most recently, getting caught saying this little gem about gay men in the back of a cab during New York Fashion Week: “They’re disgusting. Dude, most of them probably have AIDS.” I rest my case.
Lindsay Lohan vs. Hilary Duff
Everyone loves a celebrity catfight. Everyone loves it more when the ladies involved are Disney stars. And everyone loves it even more when the divas are dueling over a love interest. Hence, the media orgasm that was the feud between Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff.
The mutual love interest in the catfight between these two starlets was none other that Aaron Carter, the less-promising Bieber of the early 2000s. (Who would’ve guessed that we’d feature the washed-up child star twice on our site this week?) Apparently, Aaron started dating the Lizzie McGuire starlet while he was still dating Miss Freaky Friday, and that’s really all it took to set the media ablaze. The duo didn’t reconcile until very recently, and now, they’re at very different points in their lives.
So who ended up on top? If you were to use the logic applied to the Paris vs. Nicole catfight, then it would have to be Hilary. She’s settled down and seems to have her life together. Since her Disney days, Hilary has married, had a kid, started a clothing line, written a series of young adult novels, and landed some modeling gigs, among other projects. However, by a hair, the winner of this duel has to be Lindsay.
Yes, her life appears to be a perpetual shitshow, with Lindsay in and out of courtrooms on a regular basis, and with her family drama splattered across tabloids very frequently. But we keep her around for a reason. Lindsay stole our hearts in The Parent Trap, she was hilarious in Freaky Friday, and she killed it in Mean Girls. In a way, she’s almost the Britney Spears of the movie realm, and we’re all hoping deep down that this is Lindsay’s (extended) rough patch. A decade from now, no one’s going to be watching Lizzie McGuire or reminiscing about Hilary’s personal life, but we will absolutely remember Lindsay, and that’s why she’s the winner.
Who knows if anyone will be talking about these “starlets” in ten years? Ultimately, it doesn’t matter because they helped define our adolescents through the lens of trashy pop culture. There are always more icons to pair against each other, and the death matches will continue. Stay tuned.
Photoshop by Julia Berke
Source:
http://nyulocal.com/entertainment/2012/10/25/diva-deathmatch-part-2-return-of-the-hollywood-starlets-and-wannabes/